Death.. 
Way back in 2010, I had blogged that in our human form, lose of memory is an equivalent to his/her death. I was of the opinion that when our memory fails, we fail to lead a purposeful existence in the family/society and in such a situation, even though we do not die physically, existence of life is meaningless and hence its as good as death. 
On March 20th I lost a very respected elderly person in my family in his physical form. His last rites were performed yesterday and he was confined to flames. His physical absence is a huge vacuum in our lives. He always used to guide us and had a huge role in shaping our personality and our survival.
His memories last our life time. His situational and upright guidance will stay with us for long.
With that context, here is nuanced take on death....
Death of a person is directly proportional to the rightful, noble and positively impactful deeds he does in his lifetime. If there is very little of such things that a person does in his lifetime, his/her memories are short lived in others and therefore such persons fade away in our memories. However if there are persons who have impacted many lives positively, they continue to stay rooted in in all those living memories for their lifetime. If one day, for some medical reasons, our memories fail and we do not retain any remembrance, these noble persons and their deeds continue to be alive in many living persons due to their impactful deeds.
So, knowing that death is the ultimate truth that mother nature has to offer to all of us, it is the good deeds we do in our life which will ensure our liveability beyond our physical death.. That said, losing physical shape and being confined to the five elements one day is dwarfed by the strong remembrance of deeds in so many living memories.
I pray to the almighty god and mother nature to bless me with aspects that motivate me to perform such noble, positive deeds and impact living beings through which my memories in them live for ever.. at least within the realms of my family and friends...Let this be my dharma.

Where should I live - US or India??

I've come to US on business and will be there for another week. While I'm here, I've been talking to friends whom I'd almost lost communication for so many years...basically going back on memory lanes which were so nice and even now cherished.. Few memories have strong emotions attached to them and some don't.
Well! In some of my discussions with these good friends out here, one topic that's taken more of my discussion space is "How is life in India and how different is it in USA"...

While it's homely being in my town i.e., Bangalore where I stay with my family, my friends here have a very valid point when they say life here in US is pretty balanced when it comes to work.. They work from 8am to 5pm and then outside this time, they say that they are not working for their employer.. Outside this work time, they say they are looking after their children, spouse or even spending time on some academic studies.. One of my friend says life in India especially for folks like me, working in IT industry is almost like "white collar slavery" (very loaded term).. May be he is right!

For me, life in bangalore is as per my friends definition "off-balance".. work, work and more work.. get up early, go to office early (to beat the morning traffic), leave office a little early (again to beat the evening traffic), come back home and take conf calls till almost late in the night.. With blackberry phones and laptop machines, attention to official work at all times of the day by us is not only possible but some kind of expectation from the employers..Sometimes, excusing myself to conf calls outside office hours when some personal work becomes a high priority becomes embarrassing...

So, what's right and what's wrong??

Am I not working for the family when I'm actually taking official calls outside office hours? Is it ever possible to take these calls when I stop enjoying the work that I actually do? Is there anything called a "work life" and a "personal life". Isn't office work "personal life"? Should we partition our life into these kind of buckets and start looking at it differently?

Well! I think about it differently. I simply enjoy my mind being occupied. As long as there is no agitation in my mind, my blood pressure does not vacillate too much and my relationship with my near and dear ones are reasonably good, I'm enjoying that !! I'm not bothered if I'm spending time for my employers or my family.

The best part in this whole thing is you need to have 2 good blessings. One, an understanding wife/children and a human boss!

I'm getting back to clearing some official emails now!!

Death and self

Couple of  thoughts that came to me during the week:
1. Understanding of life and death: We live in our own world full of memories...which we term as good or bad memories. Memories can be about our parents, teachers, friends, loved ones, etc. I for example, don't remember every day I spent with my father or mother but remember those days when they have made an impact in me.. which means that our memories are those compiled scenarios which have made some impact in our lives. Any uneventful or non-impacting happening does not stay in our memories. And since these impacting scenarios live with us for most of the time, I view that as life. Everything outside this is death. I honestly don't remember every movie I went with my father or every dinner/lunch with my mother. However I remember going to the movie with my father where he stood in the queue in the hot son for more than an hour despite not having any food only to ensure that his son viewed that movie and enjoyed it. Similarly, once I fought with my mother in the morning and did not take lunch to school as a protest. But, my mother came to my school during the lunch break with lunch and fed me on her own. These were 2 loving events that will live with me until my memory works which also means I'm alive. If my memory stops working, I'm as good as dead. Right?
2. Understanding of "I": I have a close friend who is an Ayurvedic doctor. He is my mentor and guide for years.. Outside my parents, he is simply the greatest "human being" I've encountered in my life so far. Last week, I was thinking of what makes this person so great? Is it his humility? Is it his down to earth attitude? Is it his vast knowledge? Is it his devotion and belief in god? What is it??? Until I felt that it is his approach to everything that made him humble, knowledgeable, devotional and loving. I then realized that our "approach" to everything when alive that defines the "I" in us. My wife, son or daughter will remember or recall my memories only because of my approach. Unless I turn inward and keep modifying my approach to be in line with the laws of "dharma", "I" will never be remembered or recalled by anyone however close I am when I'm alive..So, which means, I do not need a catchy name to be recalled, I do not need to be a cash rich relative to some one to be remembered, I do not need a good looking face to be recalled, I simply need to follow "dharma" to be recalled or remembered. That is "I".